What if we told you… that a koozie that has been spotted in 4 continents, 22 countries, 46 states and 27 Iowa counties… could save your holiday season? It’s true.
How many times can you be asked publicly when you’re getting married or if you’re having another child? You will find out soon enough as the Holidays are upon us. So, have your SSU koozie primed and ready with a chilled Busch Latte so you can smile and repeat your preferred party line as you wash that cool, classic liquid down your throat.
Spending Thanksgiving with your new boyfriend/girlfriend for the first time? Or just as difficult, still haven’t won over those in-laws? We have the answer, Watermelon Warrior koozies for everyone! For the cousins who know no laws, because they brought a case of White Claws. For the relative’s name you drew for the gift exchange who no one has seen for 8 to 10 years, depending on good behavior. Or the woke cousin who asked grandma on the family Facebook group chat if there would be any plant-based meat options at this year’s dinner. In the name of all things holy and dipped in ranch dressing… just get them a Stanhope State koozie.
Need a pro-tip to avoid that uncomfortable silence that comes with walking into a room full of relatives you only see once a year? Instead of talking about the weather, the foods your aunt can only eat on her new diet, or listening to your nieces and nephews watch YouTube videos of people playing video games… pull out one of our koozies then share a great story of your days at Stanhope State University and convince that one uncle to bet $200 on the Watermelon Warriors on his sports gambling app.
Hear us now and believe us later, these glorious drink sweaters will save your holiday season and keep you well under the white elephant gift spending limit. Don’t forget to send us a family photo on the newest Snapchat filter enjoying your favorite beverages wrapped up safely in your new Stanhope State koozies.
Cheers Stanhope Staters!